You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize