i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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