the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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