if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize