The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize