omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize