Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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