She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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