Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
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High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
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We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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