if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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