Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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