Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
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Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
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I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
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