I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize