Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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