I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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