How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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