I don't think brook has ever known best
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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