Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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