i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize