new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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