there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
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