I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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