my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
we're making bets on your personal life
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize