i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
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