I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Welp...herpes.
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They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
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Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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