I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I don't think brook has ever known best
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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