i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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