I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
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We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
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She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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