Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
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Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
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I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
as a side note pls kill me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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