You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize