he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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