soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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