And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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