I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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