I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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