We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize