he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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