somebody snuck up and got me drunk
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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