DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize