I can tuck mytits in my pants
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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