I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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