She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
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WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
There's even glitter on my cock...
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