My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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