Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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