Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize