Writing my paper on freud at bar
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Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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