my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize