i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize