its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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