We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
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So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
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I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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